Life on Life's Terms & Awareness

[Average Joe]

Talking the talk is one thing, on the other hand there is walking the walk. Something that I struggle with on a daily basis is, being able/willing to use the advice I so easily/readily dispense. I find myself with my claws dug in deep, so deep that "I" in fact forget to practice the principles in ALL of "MY" affairs. Very easy is it to loose site of the main objective... Staying Sober one day at a time. And to do that I have to learn to live my life, on life's terms. What does that entail? That means I need to not only hear what others say but to listen carefully, when people start getting on my nerves, usually it has nothing to do with them, rather it's something else with in me that I am troubled by. Using the tools I have picked up in the "rooms" I am now able to be aware that something else lies buried beneath the surface that needs to be looked at. My natural reaction as an alcoholic is to quickly point the finger and place blame, but I am constantly reminded that if there's one finger being pointed, there's usually 3 coming back. Am I perfect at this? NO, but if I continue to work the steps, and with others I get better with each passing day. Life today is like a rolling ocean, there is ups and down, its how well I deal with these changes that makes me the person I am today. It's progress not perfection. I'm not where I want to be in life, but I'm a hell of a lot better than I used to be. And I owe it all to the people, places and things that I've learned to surround myself with, and most importantly a higher power whom I choose to call GOD.

[archaic.star]

I'm dealing with negativity today. Usually I try to find the positive in even the worst of situations, but today is one of those days when I can help but wonder how I got here. I try to distance myself from people that are negative, for fear of it rubbing off on me. However when the negativity come from a member of my family, I can't seem to ignore it. Was I too at one time always this negative? Probably, and the fact that I'm aware of my own negativity about 50% of the time is progress... isn't it? I know I'm suppose to talk to someone about it and that has been done, I haven't prayed about it yet, but that's on the short list.... But how do you approach someone in your family about their matters of negativity, or is it any of my business. I hate to see them always struggling and want to help, but how? Some things are not cut and dry, or am I over thinking things? (as I have a habit of doing). Any suggestions would be helpful... Thanks ahead of time.

[Average Joe]

@archaic.star:

Dealling with people that are negative is going to be a never ending batter... You seem to have a pretty good handle on the situation. The most important thing I have learned is to "vent". My brain has, at any given time 5 or 6 conversations going on at once, and by adding negativity to it, does nothing good. I've found that by calling my sponsor or talking to someone else in the program about the situation i'm dealing with, I feel an almost immediate sense of relief. Talking to another person seem to "take the power" out of it. An most of the times that I share with someone, I actually give myself the answer, but when I keep it bottled up inside I can't see the forest through the trees. Doing this on a daily basis is sumthing I must do, because I have a very good "forgetter", and an even worse "remember'er" if that makes any sense. Knowing the information only goes so far. If I can't remember to use the tools that were given to me, then I'm as good as gone, hence the need for me to regularly attend meetings relating to my disease. I'm starting to ramble and I hope this has helped, I know just spending the time to write this has at least kept me sober for a little while longer. Thanks, Have a great day!

[Average Joe]

Today I'm more aware of right and wrong, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I will always do the right thing... I was told that I can do anything I want, as long as I'm willing to pay the consequences. The truth is, atleast I have a fighting chance of doing the right thing if i'm sober; when I was under the influence there was never a choice, I just always did what I wanted. As much as I know the devil is the manufacturer of instant gratification, sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing. Doing the right thing leaves me feeling weak, and I have to remember that it's Gods will and not mine, and that He knows whats best.. Being sober a couple 24hrs, I have come to terms with quite a few character defects, but I still have some "locked rooms" in my heart, and just plain ol' don't want to let go.. The life I had in the past was soo horribly chaotic & insane, one would think changing my ways would be easy. The change is not what hurts me though, its the resistance.. I visualize a cat clawing at the floor boards of a sinking ship... Also being a man, I have a loss of blood flow to the head that is suppose to do the thinking, and don't always do whats best for me. Today I've come to terms with what I need to do, only God can point me in the right direction, it is up to me to choose my path... The good thing about the "program" is I am able to discuss these things with others, and not have to take a drink over it, and for that I'm grateful!....